Today's Top Ten Requests from Laura Carroll

10. Get me a burger and fries.
9. Get me a hot bath.
8. Got anything to read besides this Koran?
7. I know, I know, don't go anywhere without bodyguards.
6. How'd the US Hockey team do in the olympics?
5. I'd like to use the skills they taught me of building IED's for peaceful purposes.
4. I've been sharpening butter knives for some video's my friends made. Have you seen them in any videos?
3. Did you know Muslim women don't have to work for a living? They just have to cook, clean, walk behind their men, not read, not write, and generally be at their men's beconning continually.
2. I have converted from Christianity to Islam and want to clarify an eye for an eye.
1. I'd be able to tell you more about my captivity if you can resurrect my translator.